A Request for Transfer
by Oceanbourne
Summary: The Ionian champions go over a recently played match to see if their skill sets are being used appropriately by the summoners. What they find, however, isn't quite to their standards.


Tardiness was not very typical of Irelia's usual mannerisms, but seeing how it wasn't the most pressing of appointments, she felt they would give her some slack. Failing that, she had quite a reasonable alibi, provided she omitted some vital details regarding a certain Grandmaster at Arms. Apparently mops were not part of his wide repertoire of weapons, an experience Irelia wished she would not have to pass by again.

Carefully treading towards the door of the video room, the Ionian slowly turned the knob as to not make any sound while she silently slipped into the room, which welcomed her to a dimly lit space facilitating a projection on the wall opposite the entrance. Proceedings were already in order, it seemed, so Irelia meandered around the various beanbags and couches spread haphazardly along the floor as she searched for a seat. Finding a suitable vacancy between the Enlightened One and the Blind Monk, she settled in and prepared to catch up on the few opening minutes she had missed.

"Greetings, Captain," Lee Sin spoke softly, not seeming perturbed at the Will of the Blades' lateness, under the sound of the video currently playing. The monk had grown accustomed to the weight of each Ionian champion's footsteps and thus was able to identify a person simply by their gait as they walked near him. Irelia was always unsure if she should feel insecure with the fact that Lee precisely knew how much she weighed, but she kept the uneasiness to herself.

"You didn't miss much," Karma informed her. "It's only been two minutes into the match and traditional starts for both teams."

The door behind them swung open with an unceremonious _bang_ against the wall as a certain samurai trudged in, his steps heavy as he struggled to carry his sword over his shoulder. Due to the abnormal weight of his footsteps, Lee originally misidentified their owner as he struggled to place a proper greeting. "Sion?"

"This blade never gets any lighter," Yasuo murmured as he fell onto the floor.

"It's because you're carrying your knapsack on it again, silly," the Nine-Tailed Fox chimed in as she untied the bag resting on the tip of the sword, showing delight at its contents as she mewed happily.

"You actually did bring the cheesecake!" she exclaimed as she motioned for the Spirit Walker to hand over the paper plates and carving knife so she could cut the baked goods into slices for everyone.

"To replenish body and spirit," Udyr solemnly uttered as he took a bite of the very filling cheesecake.

"And you were just in time for Yasuo's usual delivery," Karma continued to fill in her friend. "If we hurry distributing the food, we probably won't miss the first fight happening. You know how these childish summoners are - they love to fight."

"I promise it wasn't my fault," the Unforgiven assured them. "People keep running into my blade," he joked.

On the other side of the room, the Fist of Shadow groaned. "Why did we agree to let him come back alive?" she inquired of her fellow Triumvirate member.

"The balance of the universe works in mysterious ways," the Eye of Twilight responded, uncomfortably shifting in his seat. For all his decorum, Shen was not quite ready to inform his junior of how he ended up creating his evaluations of the state of equilibrium. He had a feeling that the consultation of his stash of fortune cookies and various rubs of a magic 8-ball would not sit well with Akali.

" _First blood!"_ came a voice from the screen as the Ionians collectively observed a summoner who was controlling Lee Sin expertly screw up a tower dive in the middle lane as the enemy Zed proceeded to taunt the monk's lifeless body from the other side of the turret while his shadow performed some more… explicit gestures.

"My apologies, Lee," the Wuju Bladesman consoled his fellow jungler. "I suppose your blindness is a blessing, for you did not have to be subjected by that pitiful excuse of skill."

The Shojin monk merely hummed in response. He was not able to feel as frustrated without seeing the exact way the dive played out, the sounds of the respective moves of the champions not quite capturing the entire picture for him.

The projector turned its attention towards the bottom lane, which displayed a happily farming Varus calmly attacking the minions with the shots from his arrows. With the help of the sustenance provided by the Starchild, he was able to maintain a substantial health lead over the opposing Miss Fortune, whose aggressive lane partner Leona was not able to provide nearly as much sustain and could only try in vain to force an engage with the projection of her sword. However, all attempts up to that point had missed so far, the archer showing some nimble footwork in order to dodge the Radiant Dawn's attacks.

Suddenly, however, the summoner decided he wanted Varus to take a more active, playmaking role, flashing forwards and casting his Chain of Corruption. The purple tendrils, however, had greatly missed their target, and a shocked Soraka was unable to respond in time to meet the heavy engage from Leona, who was able to capitalize on the marksman's grievous positional error, calling down a ray of sunlight to immobilize the Arrow of Retribution and pin him down long enough for the shots from the Bounty Hunter to strike him down.

A couple of skeptical glances went the way of the Varus sitting in the room with them as the archer shrugged indifferently. "Beware a man with nothing to lose. And I am not speaking about myself."

The Starchild gasped softly. "You can't mean that the summoner controlling you was…"

"Yes," the archer answered grimly. "The fifth division of the bronze league."

The group collectively shuddered at the implications, pitying Varus for his unfortunate link-up with a summoner of extremely low talent. Irelia had only heard legends of the choices such people made in those abyssal depths, but the concept of a Garen wielding four Trinity Forces horrified her, as much as she harbored an affinity for the item.

The group continued to watch the match in relative quiet, with a few expressions of mortification coming from the champions as they cringed at seeing a failed flash over a wall or an overextension by a laner as the enemy team collapsed on them. The footage then came to an encounter around the Dragon, where the five members of each team began a very awkward waltz beside the pit as both teams battled for a dominant position.

However, the summoner of Varus decided that the conflict was getting stale and decided to walk a short distance away to attack some of the jungle camps. Unfortunately, this had come right at the moment, where the summoner controlling the Monkey King saw an opportunity to make a play, moving forward into the river brush.

"Please don't tell me he's going to do what I think he's doing," Akali muttered in disbelief.

Their own Wukong snatched up a pillow to cover his legs as he pulled them closer to him. "Oh no, I can't watch."

The monkey created a decoy of himself in the brush, invisibly advancing towards the enemy team before using his Nimbus Strike to close the gap towards the enemy Maokai before activating his Cyclone, wildly spinning around three members of the enemy team and knocking them up in the process.

"Well, it was a good initiation," Yasuo remarked as he watched his figure right behind Wukong, ready to follow up. Then it hit him. "Oh no. Am I really -"

" _Sorye ge ton!"_

Yasuo immediately casted his Last Breath onto the suspended enemy champions, two of which were the bulky top laner and support, bringing his sword down along with them to create a powerful shockwave on the ground upon impact. Unfortunately for the two, their team was unable to follow closely enough and the enemy team, whose members were much closer, immediately obliterated the two and punished them for not building any defensive items whatsoever. Their team attempted to avenge their deaths, but their efforts were only in vain as the man advantage created by Yasuo and Wukong's folly made short work of the defenseless marksman and support as the Twisted Treant easily ran over them in a maelstrom of magic.

The recording shut off at that point as Karma decided she had had enough of the slaughter. The Maven of the Strings, who had (understandably) remained silent the whole time, turned on the lights, glad that the graceless display had finished, and played a short discordant chord on her etwahl to indicate as such.

Karma turned to the resident in-house summoner, who was sitting in a folding chair in the back, stupefied at the video demonstration. She did not look pleased as she addressed him. "Tell the Institute to disable the lower league summoners from using any champion from Ionia, please."

"O-of course, Duchess. I'll get in contact with my superiors at once," the summoner replied as he made his exit.

The rest of the champions looked at Karma, unsure if their meeting was order after the woman's premature ending of the clip. "So does this mean no more cake?" Ahri asked timidly.

Karma sighed heavily, shoulders dropping at the hopelessness of the entire situation. "Do whatever you want with the food, I'm leaving." The fox shrugged, pausing to watch the Enlightened One leave the room before helping herself to another slice of cheesecake.

A couple of small groups were quietly discussing the match with each other, with Master Yi educating Wukong about some small macro-level errors his summoner had made throughout the course of his jungle pathing, and Akali was rambling off to Shen in the corner about the futility of her summoner's itemization choices, specifically the uselessness of a purchase like Rylai's Crystal Scepter on her, but all Irelia noticed was how little attention the summoner in the top lane, who sported a record of 7/0/4, was being given as she had watched herself quietly take down a turret on the opposite of the map.

* * *

 **A/N:** a light-hearted one-shot cause I didn't want to put any serious effort into working on Trinity today :| Also an expression of my frustration as I am stuck in the pit of despair otherwise known as Silver II.

I also wanted to get a bit of the Ionian champions' personalities as I very much like the bunch. I left out Syndra and Zed here cause they're not exactly welcome with the main bunch, but if I get any inspiration for a encore, I might write something like this from their perspective.


End file.
